The Doctor Drabbles
by Taranea
Summary: The Doctor gets shot, loses his TARDIS and feels generally insulted. Three unrelated drabbles featuring Ten, Rose, Martha and Captain Jack in various improbable situations. Jump in and enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

_Author's note: _

Hi there and welcome to my little theatre! These are three unrelated drabbles, one of them a crossover that never happened and all in good fun. ;) Now, "Drabbles', as Wikipedia defines them are 'extremely short works of fiction _exactly_ one hundred words in length. The purpose of the drabble is brevity and to test the author's ability to express interesting and meaningful ideas in an extremely confined space.' This has been observed and I hope you enjoy the erratic results.:P

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**The Doctor Drabbles**

_by Taranea_

_One Of A Kind_

Striding briskly towards his beloved ship, the Doctor threw the doors open with a flourish, ready for yet another incredible adventure. Then his eyes widened in shock.

"No," he breathed, terrified. "Not again."

"Rose!" he turned on his surprised companion instantly. "The interior dimensions have been thrown out of the TARDIS!" he grabbed her shoulders hard, his tone laced with warning. "You haven't rescued _another_ dead relative of yours, have you?"

Rose sighed.

"No, I didn't save anyone, Doctor. But this _is _London 1959, there's loadsa blue boxes, and you parked the TARDIS on the _other_ side of the street."

xxx

_Just Another Day at Torchwood Three_

"Ha-hah! I've shot both Captain Jack Harkness and the Doctor _through the heart!_ With both your leaders dead, it's impossible to stop me!" The unspecified villain laughed maniacally, brandishing his weapon at distinctly unimpressed Martha Jones and Gwen Cooper.

Gwen shot her colleague a look.

"Should we tell him?"

Martha pursed her lips. Behind the now slightly confused intruder, Jack got to his feet and gave first his (now ruined) vintage coat and then the villain a murderous look. Rather unconcerned about clothing, the injured Doctor was meanwhile merely scrabbling weakly for the first aid kit.

Finally, Martha shrugged.

"Nah."

xxx

_Marketing Hazards_

"Come on."

"No."

"Don't be insulted."

"I'm _not_ insulted. They don't want me here; I'll gratefully comply and _not_ save their planet. Me, insulted? Hah!" The Doctor crossed his arms, grumbling unintelligibly. Rose was still pretty sure she'd heard 'stupid apes'.

"But it's just a silly movie campaign for goodness' sake! Now can we _please_ go and stop the Sontarans from leveling San Diego?" she practically implored him.

The Doctor huffed.

"Fine. But I _know _why I prefer England."

The two adventurers strode off, leaving the lonely bus bench with the white 'For Humans ONLY!" sign behind in the dust.

_Fin

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_

Readable? Well, for anyone not getting the last one, I apologize. Just google the "for humans only" phrase, it's a very odd movie advertisement here in the USA that had me baffled for a while. The Sontarans, on the other hand, are probably here for Comic-Con. :P 'twas my first Who-thing too, so if this gets a positive response, there's more on the way.

Hope you enjoyed and if you read, please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Hi there! Well, there actually were a couple of you who liked those little things, so here's a few more - last two are crossovers, so I hope you have fun. :P

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**Chapter 2:**

_It's Four Beats, Right?_

It was the darkest night in the wasteland. They were lying in the dust in front of each other, one burnt but not broken, the other crouching, and insane.

"Please…listen," the Master rasped.

The Doctor shook his head, his eyes mirroring the other's pain.

"I can't hear it," he tried to tell him. But the Master just moved closer, grasping the other Time Lord's face and bringing their foreheads together.

"_Listen!_"

Immediately, the Doctor gasped and reared backwards.

"What?!" snapped the Master.

"But...that's…" the Doctor stammered.

"WHAT?!"

"…that's your own heart beat," the Doctor pointed out.

"…"

"…you _idiot_."

xxx

_The Doctor Dances_

"_-your hands on your hips." _

"Doctor," Rose hissed, "What are we doing here? This is silly!"

"Nahh, it's fun!" he insisted, grinning and moving to the instructions like all the other guests.

"_And bring your knees in-"_

"But they're all dressed like nutjobs! Look, these two wear nothing but dressing gowns!"

"Come on, Rose. It's my favourite song. And _you_ asked me whether I'd dance…" he winked, and of course, she gave in. Both chorused:

"_Leeet's doo the Tiiiimewarp agaaaain…!" _

Yes, it was a silly song.

(But then again, watching the Doctor do the 'Pelvic Thrust' was _certainly_ worth it.)

xxx

_Fic-Crossed Lovers _

The Doctor was running. This was nothing new.

No Daleks or Cybermen pursuing, but rather a mob of enraged men this time, but this also had happened before.

Lastly, he had no idea _why_ they wanted to kill him – he'd never even _met_ their wives - but, again, routine.

And so, while the lanky, brown-haired renegade Time Lord continued dodging pedestrians, running along water channels and jumping over little gondolas in ancient Venice, a certain panting young man called Casanova continued hiding around the corner, very happy that he'd just happened to cross the path of someone looking _so_ similar.

_Fin_

_

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_Heh, thanks for reading!^^ As for the crossovers, first one's of course a reference to the infamous Rocky Horror Picture Show and their theme tune and second...well, BBC had this great idea to produce a miniseries about the life of Casanova, and guess which dishy-looking actor got the part back then? XD Hope you liked, and if you read, please review? :P _  
_


	3. Positively Angelic

Hi there! Well, for this chapter of the Doctor Drabble Trouble we have three li'l bundles of joy focusing on the coolest enemies of the series and also one with the 11th Doctor now. Have fun! :D

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_Cross Your Fic And Hope To Die_

They were the most terrifying races of both their universes. Striking fear into the hearts of heroes and villains alike.

Now they were facing each other, the victor of this match of monsters yet unknown. The hooded figure which hovered, emanating cold and able to swallow the soul of a wizard, its fingers the colour of dead meat – or the winged stone statue, hiding its face as if in sorrow?

The match was over in seconds.

Because, no matter much power Dementors wielded over humans, the Weeping Angels couldn't feel….

…and then, even more importantly, Dementors also very definitely couldn't _see_.

_Self-Inserts Are Bad Ideas_

Mary stared at the Angel, but she was prepared.

She'd seen 'Blink' a hundred times, after all.

She could blink her eyes alternatively, she'd practiced. She'd be the perfect companion. Honestly, she knew so much about this universe, she wouldn't ever make the usual mistakes...

Then, her nose started itching.

No. This couldn't be happening. Her breathing started to quicken, her mouth slowly opening as her face scrunched up in anticipation of this basic human reaction…

No. _NO!_

And then, in her very last moment in the 21st century, she sneezed.

The Angels _knew_ why they liked old, dusty mansions.

_Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant  
_

Steven Moffat leaned back in his chair, content.

"That which holds the image of an angel itself becomes an angel."

Ooooh, that _had_ been a good one.

He smiled, almost seeing fanartists everywhere hiding behind their sofas now. But, how to top that…?

Ah.

Yes.

Fingers sunk upon the keyboard, typing the next script…

_AMY _

"_It…it says here, Doctor, 'That which holds a fanfic of an angel becomes itself an angel!'" _

_THE DOCTOR_

"_Yes. It will." _

_Turns, looks straight at viewer. _

"_And every time you write slashfic involving me and the Master, it will come out of the BLOODY SCREEN!"_

FIN

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Weeeell, finale of season 5 was yesterday and now we all have to wait until christmas - if there wasn't fanfiction, that is. :P I hope you enjoyed the most recent drabbles and right now have had no creepy deadly stone statues materialze in your room standing right behind you, waiting for you to turn around from your screen. Review please? :3


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